I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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