I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
