yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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