Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We are all done wearing pants today
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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