According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
