omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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