just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
