I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
