it was like his penis was on wheels.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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