"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
