whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
