hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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