Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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