Dual....:-)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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