we're blogging at a bar
I haven't been this sober since birth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
