It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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