I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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