in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
