It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
