it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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