my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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