just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
