Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
