Kiss
Puke
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
