Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
