I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
