How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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