in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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