ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
