You can't special order awesome
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
