He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
