He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
