worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
