sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
