can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
