very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can't special order awesome
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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