well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
