I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
