his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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