We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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