once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so much tequila, so little girl.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
