he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
