So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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