Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
