a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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