i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
