dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
too bad you live with your parents still
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
