The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
