When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
