We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
