There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
