If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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