just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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