dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
