If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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